Are we hazed?

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Women have long lived in and served the patriarchal society. They have for eons vested their time and effort, kept their own desires and ambitions aside and nurtured men and their illogical presumptions. People have forced women, trained women in believing that they deserve to be restrained and cannot and must not step outside. They belong in the kitchen and have no place in the army, banks or industries. Women have been brainwashed to such an extent that were pitted against their own kind.

women belong kitchen, men

It’s a welcoming sign to see people, not only women but also men realise this and urge societies to understand the stereotypes and shackles that have been placed on women and how unjust they are. It’s a sign of a progressive society where women also take it upon themselves to fight against such oppression and have their voice heard. A lot will be said and done when a woman opines and she must endure the resistance to able to continue to stick to her stand and I say, she must, because the time is such. We of course pray, our daughters need not fight for the things that we feel now and sadly those that our mothers never felt. Now, I am glad, there will be equal opportunities for education in families and societies that otherwise would have preferred boys to attain that only. I am glad men have realized that even their better halves are educated and deserve to work and deserve the same amount of rest at home and hence find it logical to divide housework too, if not become house-husbands themselves. But the evils in society haven’t turned topsy-turvy. They exist in the same form that they used to before. The reason your mom wouldn’t let you stay out till late in night is also based on safety concerns. I wouldn’t know when to argue on that. Parents go the extra mile to give that freedom to their daughters by being present to pick them up or drop them when it’s not safe. Rapes do happen. Can’t deny that. The society needs more rinsing and purification than we initially thought, right? I am not against anything here, only saying there are more problems than those that we are addressing. Prioritizing them is paramount to the safety and sanity of society. I would like to mention here, the rape of a woman in Gurgaon (http://www.ndtv.com/gurgaon-news/after-gang-rape-gurgaon-woman-travelled-to-hospital-on-metro-holding-dead-baby-1708848) who was travelling late at night to her parents’ house with a 9-year old baby. The baby was thrown from auto rickshaw she was travelling in (leading to spot death) and she was raped. This obviously is the worst case scenarios, but parents are not willing to take any risk.

Another observation from the whole feminism talk is that girls now find that it is cool to be tomboys and it won’t be appreciated if she is girly, whatever that means by common society norms. Girls have started to think it is cooler to be one those who smoke or drink, because the guys and the ‘cool’ girls in their group are doing it, even though they might not actually like it. Girls now think, they have to be a certain way to appear more feministic. Girls shy away from accepting that they love cooking. They force themselves and read about football when they actually like baking, because cooking is something that ladies of older generations fancied pursuing. This mindset that is evolving from the feminist movement is wrong. Women are not meant to do everything that men can. I will not even say that women are meant to do everything that men can’t. What I believe in, is that men and women are all meant to do what they like. (Not in total agreement of the image attached below, which is being circulated so much)

women are meant

Are we getting it wrong? While people are preaching what they think is right, what really matters is what the young minds are learning. Things said in a particular way can be made out as something else by different minds. While we can’t control it all, effort still should be made into making sure, our voice comes out right. The fact that there is a discussion and debate on what women should and shouldn’t do, in itself is regressive. Feminism is not about taking each other’s place; it is about having your own. If you have the freedom of choosing what you want, you have enough. Endorsing this is feminism. And it is for all.

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62 Comments

  1. I feel the term feminism has become an escape, while it’s real essence of justice and rights of women is shadowed. I might be wrong!!!! Correct me!!
    . I agree with you totally of what you have pointed out in a magnificent way, Of every thing, agreed that minds should not regressively progress but rather open up righteously to circumstances . Agreed of the fact that women and men have biological difference and that include psychological too. So yeah, very awesome and positive write up, and yea capital punishment to rapist and chastisement to eve teaser, molestors, and doer of injustice . May God bless you with success here and in hereafter.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Truth always prevails. So, even if the masses disagree, hypothetically , it’s the falsehood that perishes. So, yeah, Miss Diarist, you have said the truth. Keep smiling and don’t sweat the small stuffs.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Well written.. the real problem persists when you only talk about empowerment but not willing to take your part of responsibility. Just for a simple example motherhood can’t be replaced with any other worldly things but if suddenly this strong feminism rhetoric start forcing any women to believe that, taking care and nurturing her child is not her responsibility.. then I would say it’s a disaster. Be empowered but also be willing to take care of yours part of responsibility, I would say this thinking would do wonder.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I agree. You know, I would like to add to your statement that, you know. Some women want to be mothers. And some women don’t. Jennifer Aniston isn’t. Serena Williams is. Some people realise that would not turn out to be the best parents. Some people are extremely eager to embark upon the journey. Life is not going to wait for you. Each passing moment is taking away from your life. To be able to know what you want to do and do it is strength. People must not be forced into something. That creates disasters. We have not come to terms with cross gender roles. That is because, we have attributed certain activities to a specific gender. I might want to the army, my husband might want to be a chef. He might want to be a house husband. I might want to be a house wife or a businesswoman. To each his own and to each of those, let there be freedom and equal opportunities. No judgment, genuine and unbiased approach is what is required.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I agree, we should all have the opportunity to decide what we want to do with our lives! I chose to be a stay at home mom but that doesn’t mean I don’t or can’t work hard or am not smart.
    My husband, thankfully is very helpful and supportive.
    Thank you for following my book review blog!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks a lot. I am glad we resonate on mattes like this. People simply take the luxury of judging women, even men for that matter for choosing a particular path. I am of the opinion, people are blessed with intelligence of their own and can choose well for themselves.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. I know this word and it’s significance can be different for each person. Although, the underlying essence of what it wants to bring to the society and culture, the empowerment of all with equality, doesn’t change. It can be so daunting to figure what it means to you and its absolute value from what people and celebrities and activists say about it. I am so glad you agree on my take.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Well said.. We tend to have so many organisations representing women but it still feels like we are talking in silence.. Men only classify you as a “good woman” if you stay home washing cooking and cleaning for them. Its total wrong

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You know I am not defending them by saying this, but I wouldn’t have called them wrong probably if this was discussed a decade ago. I say so, because there had not been much discussion or awareness about how things are and things should be, and people learn what they see. For them, it becomes the normal thing. Something which is pretty obvious and need not even be mentioned. Now, when so much is said and being done about, there comes a question of acceptance. Now, they must understand the importance of equality and freedom.

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      1. Exactly. I thought I was the only one who saw this as a big problem. Am pretty young but I see things deeply. In Jamaica this how women a labeled and its hardly discussed. Some women thinks its okay that we subjected to be house wives and nothing more.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. It’s probably because, they have been taught and told and re told that they are supposed to do only household chores. To the ink differently is a sin. These people included men and women, both from the older generations. Women had not chosen to protect their rights in those days. They had accepted these ways. Even today, I think, girl power will rise when women support each other. Coming from a place of comfort, men may join in later. But will they, if women themselves in the first place don’t initiate a change?

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      3. I asked myself that many times too many. Why didn’t women speak out in the past. It was the controlling ways of men and thinking men were Superior than women, women thought that what they were doing was the only thing we can and will ever do and we accepted that… But then again we hardly find women supporting each other. But why thou????

        Liked by 1 person

  5. This is an amazing post. You have considered all the points so perfectly and specially the pictures you have used are really good. The case you presented (Gurgaon case) actually makes one question the sanity of the society that we live in. I appreciate it

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am proud of the person then. Men even today do not understand that and continue to live by the norms of the past. It is sad that not just women but even women do not feel the need for some major changes that the society desperately needs. But the fact that your friend realizes this is so heartwarming. I am happy for the lovely daughters! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. And you know what it is more amazing ?it is that myself like my friend wife quitted work for many reasons but never made feel inferior.Him like my husband always made the point they can do what they do because we do what we are doing and both in the couple work hard.on the contrary I know lots of working women that still feel the urge to compete their husband and show they are at the same level.you are right feminism has no gender,it is a state of mind and thank you for making me realise I have a feminist husband too.☺️have a lovely day

        Liked by 1 person

      2. First of all, I want to congratulate you on being in a company of someone who is a proud feminist, irrespective of whether they publicize it. To practice first and then preach is the most ideal way of imparting learning. He can be an example to so many of those who still are indifferent to the concept of feminism.
        More specific to your conclusion, of course, feminism doesn’t necessarily want women to leave all their household work and be entrepreneurs or CEOs and compete men and beat the shit of them. No. It is to pursue whatever they wish to and not be judged. Applicable to men and women alike. I appreciate that you agree with my point of view. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Great post. I’m a woman myself and I don’t believe women should be allowed to be in combat in the army. Us women fought for that right… then while in combat a male is going to get majorly hurt and if one of us women tried to save him we wouldn’t be able to carry him off the battlefield like a man could do. A man could at least drag him to safety. What if a woman couldn’t? Women also have different requirements for pt tests in the army… less sit-ups, and less push ups.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. That is a good point, but women have less muscles than men. We are not as physically capable. Although I’m sure there are plenty of exceptions.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. I agree with your post, I love how you have written this up! Well done!! I say, “Just do YOU!” Do what feels good, what feels right for YOU, whatever it is, of course, no abuse to oneself or anybody else, but follow your interests, your goals, your passion, whether you are female, male, non gender specific, it doesn’t matter, it shouldn’t matter!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am so pleased that people here, including you are so well meaning and that my thoughts and opinion align with such people. It’s an honor be amidst such mature people. The society really needs that. Thanks! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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